I HUGGED A UNICORN.
It was beautiful and white and I hugged it.
It just so happens that that unicorn was also the Forestmaster of Darken Wood. If I’d known it was in charge, I would have entered and made friends much sooner. As it happens, the Forestmaster claims that these are the last days of the wood, and its own days are coming to an end. Whatever that means. I should ask it when I come back.
It told us someone’s waiting for us in Xak Tsaroth (I had to ask Bishop how to spell that) and so that’s where we are running to. We only have two days to get there! But we had a long, tiring night so we’re taking a (short) break and I’m writing this so I don’t forget. When I return to Qualinost a victorious hero of renown, I need to make certain that Porthios has all of the details.
So! It seems people are actually looking for my stick. They seem to know a few things about it – even more than Bishop does. Imagine that, people who know more about something than Bishop! I saw mercenaries hassling travelers all the way along the road to Qualinost but I convinced them that the staff was a boring old Elven trinket and they were eager to forget me.
There’s a High Theocrat of Solace now. At first we thought he was working with the mercenaries, but those hobgoblins were pretty creepy – even for the Seekers. I should put this in order so I don’t get my details mixed up.
Bishop and Marcellus were waiting for me at The Inn of the Last Home, and this old man was there as well. He seemed to know us and I gave him a big hug (he really liked that) and when he saw my stick, he said it belonged in Xak Tsaroth. Then he went to the bathroom…but when I went to check a few minutes later, he was gone!
We haven’t seen our friends yet – they didn’t show up when they were supposed to! I’m not worried; it’s probably best we didn’t all have to run in a big group. They’ll come find us (I hope).
The mercenary in charge was a jerk, and gross. Tika accidentally spilled ale on him and he had the nerve to be rude! We stepped in (because of course we did) and I even gave him toilet paper so he could dry himself off but he didn’t like that and he attacked. It seems he touched the staff and it reacted and…sort of sent him flying against the wall. The High Theocrat looked really scared and he went to get guards.
I gave one of the hobgoblins a good thumping, and Bishop knocked down the other one but their boss was really tough! His armour was really good and heavy – I know because he pinned me to the ground so I couldn’t move. At least he got up when I tried to bite him, because I don’t want to think about what his face would’ve tasted like if I’d made contact.
Like I said, he was tough. He gave me some good, solid hits and I should’ve been pretty bruised. We heard the guards coming so I grabbed Otik’s potatoes (as if I would leave without them!) and Tweak and ran while Bishop took the chief’s head off. He’d said some bad things about selling the staff and bringing us to Highlord as slaves so I don’t blame Bishop for being mad.
Oh yes! I forgot to mention that they met Tweak. They were wary because we all remember what happened with Bacon the raccoon (which we all know was NOT MY FAULT) but I think Tweak is going to change our lives completely.
Right, so we escaped down a rope through the kitchen floor and ran to Darken Wood. Which, under ordinary circumstances, we would’ve avoided completely but those guards were coming very quickly and we didn’t have much choice. Bishop and Marcellus were nervous, but I wasn’t (mostly)! It got dark quickly and Bishop took us to one of his hunting perches so we could talk.
Bishop told us that before the Cataclysm, Xak Tsaroth was a big, important city with lots of clerics and healers from Istar but then it fell into the New Sea and it’s just rock now. Then Marcellus asked to touch the stick and it healed his wounds and he felt peaceful; I hadn’t realized before then that it’d healed my wounds too! Which is lucky, because the blood might’ve summoned bears. And my Bear-speak is a little rusty right now.
Then I told them about the stick, and those rude gully dwarves that didn’t even want to listen to my song. That’s when we decided that those mercenaries were weird and they were too knowledgeable to be working with the Seekers. Marcellus told us about his time away, and how he’d been shipwrecked and fought a creature that fought just like the hobgoblin chief – only this was a human-lizard! I didn’t know humans came in lizard form too, but that is super neat.
And then we got a visit from ghost elves! I spoke up because…well…I didn’t want them to be offended by my companions. And they told us to go back to Solace or meet their Master. Bishop and I think Marcellus wanted to go back and face those guards, but I was brave enough to want to meet their boss. I ain’t afraid of no ghosts, haha!
So they took us to centaurs, and I thought the centaurs were in charge but they weren’t. And then the centaurs took us to the Forestmaster and we had to walk all night but I decided it would be rude to ask if they could give us a ride. And then we went into a clearing and there was the Forestmaster and it was a WHITE UNICORN. AND IT COULD TALK.
Say what you will about my parents, but they raised me properly. And when you meet a being obviously greater than yourself, you present it with an offering. So I gave the creature one of Otik’s famous potatoes. Because I’m not rude.
It told me that someone pure had come to it a few days before, and warned that we were coming. That we held the stick and needed to go to Xak Tsaroth within two days. He also said that I am pure. So Porthios can think what he will, but a unicorn said I was pure so there.
And that’s when I asked for a hug and it let me hug it. It felt like the best, warmest, most special hug in the entire world. It’s probably the only time I’ll meet it so I wanted to make it as special for it as possible. It’s not every day a unicorn gets to meet a hero like me! Let alone such a cute one.
And now we’re on the road east, trying to go as quickly as possible. The Forestmaster promised to send our friends along ahead if it happened to see them, which is super nice. I’m sure it’ll be bragging about the hug for some time to come.
Marcellus is saying it’s time to go and I’ve said everything I need to say anyway. I’ll give Tweak a kiss for you.
Hugs and heroic deeds,